Credit to Creepypasta
Eyeless Jack is a creepypasta story that follows a man named Mitch, who is forced to move in with his brother after having his home foreclosed. He doesn’t mind this change, because he hasn’t seen his brother in ten years.
Does any of this already make a lick of sense?
Of course not.
No sane person would just cut contact with a sibling that they were close with for many years. Mitch’s age is never stated either, and it makes me really wonder how old he actually is, considering that he lost his house.
The story just gets worse from here, and it turns into one of the funniest stories that made me laugh out loud for 5 minutes straight.
Eyeless Jack is based on a supernatural entity that goes after Mitch and his brother.
This creature torments Mitch and his brother for several nights in the house, seeming to appear out of nowhere. Sometimes ambiguity does work in horror stories, but in this case, I think we needed an explanation.
Mitch is the first one to be tortured, experiencing an injury that his brother notices, including losing his kidneys.
Yeah. I’m not playing when I say this.
For some reason, Mitch never woke up to the pain. He didn’t notice that his kidneys were missing. Or the incision that was left behind on his body.
How???
I guess he’s a heavy sleeper…
I literally burst out laughing when Mitch woke up to finding Eyeless Jack in his room before this horrible thing happened to him. That woke him up, but not the forceful removal of his kidneys???
Wow.
Then the part that broke me into pieces and dying of laughter was the doctor’s reaction to Mitch’s horrible revelation. Here is the exact dialogue:
“You somehow lost your left kidney last night,” my doctor told me.
“We don’t know how, though. Sorry, Mitch.”
This is just pure gold.
Imagine a doctor reacting so casually to something so horrific.
That’s hilarious.
As if the story couldn’t get any worse, Mitch’s brother dies.
Eyeless Jack makes an appearance back into the house, attempting to go after Mitch again. This time, Mitch gets a good look at what this creature looks like.
Eyeless Jack wears a black hood over a blue mask, with a black substance dripping over the eyeless black holes of the mask.
Mitch for some reason decides to grab a camera and take a picture of this horrific creature.
Talk about one of the dumbest things I have ever seen anyone do in a scary situation. Obviously, this creature lunges at him. Mitch escapes from the creature, and runs away, leaving his brother behind.
Genius.
He wakes up in the hospital to the same doctor that doesn’t give a damn.
Here is what he tells Mitch:
“I have good news and bad news, Mitch. The good news is that you have minor injuries, and your parents are going to pick you up. The bad news is that your brother was killed by some…thing. Sorry.”
What an incredible doctor.
It’s not even explained how he even knows what killed his brother. How does the doctor have this information???
And why did the cops leave the body of Mitch’s brother behind for him to find? I wish I was kidding here, but that is how the story ends. The authorities don’t bother removing the body from the crime scene.
My theory is that the entire town or city that Mitch lives in just doesn’t care about the well — being of anyone. That has to be it…yeah…right.
This story is like a poor written comedy that you can’t help but die of laughter each time. It doesn’t make any sense, but you can’t help but love it.
To any horror fan out there, if you want to read something funny, go check out Eyeless Jack. It’s a wonderful tale full of many laughs.
Thank you for reading!
Emy Quinn
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